Feeling stressed leads to feeling overwhelmed which can lead to depression which can lead to feeling totally stuck. Repeat. Mix these feelings up in any which way. Bottom line is these are awful feelings so the best idea is to avoid them completely, right? Easier said than done, obviously, but here are a few tips and pointers that can help you if you are dealing with any of these feelings due to issues with your child at school no matter what grade your child is in.
1.) Have a running document. This is a very simple thing. There's no need to write a novel. Simply write down any concerns you have so that you don't allow for things to snowball. If your child is complaining of work being too challenging, ask questions to help determine what class or topics are causing an issue. This is going to lead to communication with the school and I will get to that point.
2.) Along those same lines, for those of you doing homework WITH your children, this is NOT what homework is designed for! Homework is supposed to be work that a child has been taught and can work on independently. Many parents are not teachers! It is not your job to reteach or to do homework with or for your child. If your child cannot complete their work independently, document (as just mentioned) and depending on their age, write a note to the teacher that your child attempted the work, but is not understanding it or if the child is older, they can tell the teacher on their own. Children should not be penalized for not being able to complete their homework, but communication with the teacher so they are aware is important.
3.)With regard to documentation as previously mentioned, this goes for social/emotional and mental health issues as well. If there is an issue with bullying, depression, anxiety, eating disorders, school refusal...any issue your child is facing AT school, document what is going on to the extent your child shares with you.
3.) Utilize the school professionals. In every school, there are a number of professionals who are there to help. Besides teachers, there are school psychologists, school counselors, adjustment counselors and the list goes on. Go through the proper order of communication. It's typically best to start with the lead teacher or if your child is on an IEP for special education, the special education liaison or coordinator. This is unless you have already established a relationship with another staff member.
Let them know when your child is struggling. Reach out with a phone call or email and connect with them. If they don't have answers, they can communicate with someone else in the building or they'll let you know the correct person to contact and better yet, ask them to facilitate the communication. Let the teacher know the information you've been documenting whether its academic issues, social issues, emotional issues etc. When there is a problem, reach out. Do not wait. It's easy for parents to try to solve everything, but the school has A LOT of responsibility when it comes to your children.
Lastly, always make sure, if there are any action items, that you know who is going to follow through with what and when they will let you know the answer.